24.9.06

They may not be white, but they're healthy

It took but a simple sentence.
"I've been seeing a psychotherapist for the last six months."
The wave of anxiety that rolled over me from the other side of the lunch table was almost unbearable.

I guess one could expect this sort of reaction from someone that was less familiar, or from someone sheltered to the idea that a human can be fragile and fracture. However, this particular person, the person whose heart skipped a beat when I delivered the line, has close family members that suffer from clinical depression and have been under treatment for - from what I can gather - years.

So why did this person behave the way they did?

Clearly, I can't be entirely sure, but I can speculate that they, just like a good portion of the greater community, are simply a victim of subtle, and not so subtle, conditioning against acceptance and processing of mental health issues. The conditioning that says We must not be fallible; that admitting weakness, error or a lack of cohesion with accepted parameters of behaviour are to be greeted with, at best, caution or worse, indifference. In their case it seems they have made an exception for those close to them - I know THEM - but not for others.

This was a telling moment for me because over the time I have been receiving very adept counsel from my psychotherapist I have come to view mental health as any other component of health - a thing that requires attention from time to time - and that it should be as freely discussed as the next ailment. To have this view turned on its head and had the metaphorical necklace of garlic pushed up against it was unsettling to say the least.

But I should be far from surprised. This country simply does not appear ready to go There yet, as we continue to remain the stoic she'll be right nation where men must not cry, women must grin and bear It and we all pretend it's AOK all of the time. In the midst of massive issues with mental health in this country a deaf, dumb and blind alien could sense the complete fallacy being carried out here.

I can't help but wonder whether the new federal initiative to subsidise psychotherapy will make much difference, when the people who most need to talk to someone are unlikely to take the leg-up. I'm talking about people like my parents and their friends, for but one albeit generational example. I could also mention young people thinking about killing themselves over their own fears and the misunderstanding that surrounds them.

An attempt to tackle issues of mental health requires not only the funding but an attempt to fundamentally attempt to change the mind set of the greater public. Without both we will continue to fail. Which is why people like Geoff Gallop make such an important contribution by being open and honest about their condition. If one - only one - person takes the very simple step to see a psychologist from an event like that, we all win.

As for my friend, the reason I revealed my own excursion into therapy was to point out it can be done and that it helps. The aim being to encourage them to talk to someone, to help relieve them of the incredible burden of attempting to help their family ill-equipped with the tools to do so. Simply, a handful of sessions with a psychologist would offer ample support and practical advice to make their life so much easier.

They are not going to take my advice, for now. I know this because they had the same look in their eyes I did 12 months ago when my partner at the time tried to convince me of the same thing. But with that glance back over my shoulder comes hope, as 12 months on from that point, here I am, a very different person, dealing with life in a much more resolute way than ever before.