the right to hold

In the months preceding our recent Federal election I was very vocal on my position regarding the impending re-election of the ship of fools, saying that I would leave the country if Howard was re-installed as our prime minister. I said it to more than a few people, serious people, people who rely on my word, and now all of them are waiting for an invite to my bon voyage party.

I had put this promise out of mind in these crazy early months of the year, until today, after I read an article written by one of this country's true heroes, Julian Burnside QC, where he stated:

In the lead-up to the recent Federal election, I toyed with the idea of leaving Australia if John Howard were re-elected. I did not think I would be put to the test, but now I have to think about it seriously.

For those of you unfamiliar with Julian, he is one of Australia's most prominent human rights lawyers and a tireless advocate of the downtrodden. He has put it all on the line to defend the constitution, our once good name, and most importantly a lot of people who have done nothing wrong other than seek a regular, safe life in another country. Stunningly, throughout this ordeal, he has maintained the sharpest of wits and kindest of natures, even when facing the full wrath of the uncaring machine that is the coalition federal government.

It was no surprise that Julian's statement stirred in me, again, that feeling I could not shake pre-election - could I cope living in an Australia that continued to endorse the outrageous, illegal, and devastating acts of the most evil political minds of our short history? If a man of this character and strength can no longer bear it, how on earth could I?

Part of the reason I have been able to delay facing this question stems from the fact that my partner and I, around the time of the election, moved into an area that is, shall we say, so far to the Left that the roads are practically red with green lines. Living here has allowed me to walk amongst like minds, comfortable in the knowledge that there is a 95% chance that the lady who walks her dogs past my home every morning is a considerate, intelligent human who is outraged by the dire state of affairs in which we struggle.

However, the underlying problem remains, and as the cold weather and grey skies start to roll in, so to do I begin to emerge from this fog of content to realise one simply can not escape the reality of a Howard nation. When you focus, it is all pervading and entirely unbearable.

The actual act of moving to another nation is not of concern to me. I have no children, my partner would be more than up for it, and thanks to a very flexible vocation there are no shortage of bountiful employment options in wonderful cities abroad that I love almost as much as Melbourne.

The stopping point instead comes from a deeper, philosophical argument that I have with myself and peers, regularly. That is, if the people that care leave, will the country, unguarded, plunge into even lower lows, or, worse, never again move forward?

I am not unaware of the arrogance of that statement, that somehow we are responsible for the destiny of the nation, but, in our defence, have you read the Herald Sun lately? Tuned in to a commercial news service? The future is not bright while so much wool is pulled over so many eyes. Moreover, the blind do not appear to be at all interested in regaining their sight and, worse still, are ever more interested in having their ill-informed and increasingly dangerous opinions ratified.

I don't know whether I can remain here, watching this play out. Yet, at the same time I do so dearly love my home and am not altogether sure I can live without her. The feeling I experience every time I fly over Melbourne, returning from abroad, speaks volumes of the depth of the attachment I have to this land. Yet, paradoxically, I don't feel that intimate with her anymore. A nation's heart is created and maintained by its people, and, as we stand today, the majority of them have decided they want a nation that is very different to what I, we, have in mind. The question is what that translates to for us.

Ultimately, my departure would not make an ounce of difference to anyone other than my friends and family. In years to come perhaps that may not be the case - maybe - but not now. Individuals like Julian Burnside leaving, however, that would be devastating on so many levels. I don't believe for a second he will leave, but if he did we would certainly then have a true, tangible, indication of the desperation felt by many.

Many, but not the majority.

My decision remains pending.